Tomás is a one-year-old and arrived in his dad’s lap.  He was conscious but hadn’t lifted his head for a day and hadn’t had any intake or urinated.  This, after he had a fever for a week and had been treated by a “nurse’ with “shots” for several days.  Tomás’ nails were white.  His hemoglobin was 2.3 (normal 12).  Malaria had destroyed 80% of Tomás’ blood! How was he alive?  We immediately began aggressive treatment for malaria and put an IV line in him and one of our staff who matched his blood type volunteered to give some of his blood to little Tomás. 

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We never lack for volunteers to donate blood in Cavango as our workers have witnessed so many lives saved in this manner.   While the blood was going in, Tomás experienced seizures (malaria vs brain), which we stopped with medication.  The blood was in, Tomás was sleeping peacefully, and I went home.  A couple hours later, our night nurse called and told me that Tomás’ parents were refusing further treatment, refused to pay and were taking Tomás home.

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Teresa (photo) has been with us for over a month and is sitting in a chair, talking, singing, coloring, even taking some steps.  She has battled through generalized tetanus, experiencing full-body muscle spasms literally every minute, day and night, for over two weeks before they began decreasing in frequency and severity.  She now has some pain but no more spasms.  Her mother, father and grandmother were told early on that this would be the course if Teresa survived and they stayed, endured so many sleepless nights holding Teresa through her awful spasms, trusted us, prayed and… witnessed a remarkable recovery.

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Emilia is 73y/o and sustained a spontaneous compression fracture in her back.  She experiences severe pain with every movement.  Every other day, over several minutes, she shuffles into my office, struggles to sit down, looks up with a big smile and asks how I am doing.  When responding to the same question, she always says that she is a “little bit” better…

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Henriques (photo) is 57-years-old, a tough war veteran with one shot-out eye and hadn’t urinated for four days (!).  He arrived drenched in sweat and said he had been vomiting, on top of his severe lower abdominal pain, for the past 48h.  Henriques’ bladder was radically distended and his kidneys swollen and failing.  We put in a simple catheter to allow his urine to drain.  I could never reproduce here accurately the gratitude expressed by him when I saw him an hour later…  I saw him the following day and he said this place was like Jesus, in the Jesus film he saw at our clinic the night before, healing desperate people and teaching about His Father…

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João (photo) is 23y/o and arrived conscious, with no radial pulse, severely short of breath and unable to speak beyond a grunt.  Both of his chest cavities were full of fluid and his heart was barely squeezing.  We drained both chest cavities and, with inadequate monitoring abilities, gave him several medications which could have killed him or helped turn him around.  He turned around.  Today, he jogged (!) up to me outside as we arrived, with a huge grin, saying he was getting better every day and had no symptoms whatsoever.  Mike, our visiting cardiologist, said he had ruptured one of his heart valves and needed a valve replacement, not available in Angola.  He gave him little hope without.  We will continue to “McGuyver” all the “mud and spit” we have at our disposal, pray, and see what plans our Father might have for João.  Mike also brought, and donated to Cavango, our first ECG machine (photo)!

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Margarida (photo) arrived with severely high blood pressure, nine months pregnant with twins.  We monitored her for several days of intermittent labor, noted on ultrasound that her twins were alive but had slower than normal heart rates.  We “encouraged” her labor with medication to get her babies delivered. With quite a bit of help and wrestling, Vianne delivered Margarida’s twins.  The first was breech and delivered with no heart activity or respirations and we were unable to resuscitate him.  The second was delivered and had minimal heart activity but no respirations.  We tried to resuscitate him for 15min (Jocelyn performed the slimy mouth to face breaths) before his first breath.  His arms and legs remained flaccid.  He was taking a breath every 7-8 seconds. He would also not survive… 

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We sat with the parents and expressed our sorrow and told them the truth about their twins.  The father of the twins, a very poor, uneducated, rural farmer, smiled and went on and on about how grateful he was for all of our efforts and that he was thankful that his wife survived a serious, life-threatening illness.  He believed our reports about his wife’s condition prior to the birth and had witnessed all of our efforts in trying to resuscitate his twins and believed us when we said we had done all we could do… 

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We arrived this morning and the second baby boy was moving all limbs, was breathing rapidly, needed oxygen no longer, and had been nursing hungrily!  He survived the night! We’ll see…

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Dionisa (photo) had been unable to conceive for seven years.  She said she had tried everything.  We laid out to her our year-long plan, which we told her was only sometimes successful, and treated her for various infections that could prevent conception and prayed with her, emphasizing that God gives life and invites us to present to Him our requests.  She arrived this week with her six-month-old little boy and, with tears in her eyes, thanked us profusely and presented us with a sack of peanuts (which she grew) and a live chicken (which she raised) to express her gratitude…

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This from a missionary friend who lives several hours away. “I just wanted to say thank you for receiving Elsa (my empregada) so well. She came back just glowing. She had nice things to say about everyone: the security guard, administrative staff, local docs, visiting docs. Even not getting the surgery, she still felt very well received.” Elsa brought her son to Cavango for surgery. They traveled here, waited for two days to receive surgery and we couldn’t get to him before our visiting surgeons had to leave… I will read this to our staff today, as we emphasize excellent care beyond diagnosis and treatment…

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When evening arrives, I am often at my end, wondering if I can continue another day but, then, I arrive the following morning to many like these… and doubt and fatigue dissipate…

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Many come to Cavango and are irritated by the many questions we ask to determine an accurate diagnosis.  They have just come for “the medicine”.  They equate our pills with shamans’ roots and leaves.  Both to them non-specific magic, mysterious, and beyond understanding.

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Some equate what we do with witchcraft.  We tell them of unseen malaria parasites in the blood which are transported by mosquitoes, infections in the lungs and intestines caused by unseen bacteria, tuberculosis transmitted person-to-person “in the air”…  They “see” our work as in the arena of the unseen and, therefore, “spiritual”.

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Others come to Cavango to “see inside” their body with the “cure-all” ultrasound machine…

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Some see Cavango as offensive because it is so radically unique, in that it operates with no strings and with no profit motive. Our service is not a part of any local “religion” and we are difficult to understand and our passion intolerable for those who value control. Some think we might instigate an “uprising,” or rebellion and others are convinced that our work is a front for illegal activity and/or hidden, yet-to-be-discovered, personal gain.  Others, especially those who receive care, “see” our work more positively.  Our work to some of our workers provokes a yawn and they work for a salary, to others it is a marvel and they enthusiastically participate from a place of gratitude for opportunity to serve another…

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Some see me through eyes of modern psychology as self-driven, self-glorifying, narcissistic, building my own kingdom, etc. because they don’t know how to process someone who works for no tangible personal reward. They are simply completely unfamiliar with that place of radical gratitude after experiencing starvation, finding “Bread” and seeking to lead others to the same “Bread”…

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As I’ve written previously, it’s been a challenging season…  Words and actions… can be wounding… and destructive. 

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The wounds of these recent years have been largely caused by words and actions best described as “friendly fire”… and have caused me to consider, multiple times, abandoning the fight to serve those who have no one… At these times I have allowed myself to be vulnerable to what people think. It is a personal struggle and I have stronger days and others, where I allow the opinion/pleasure of another to take priority over the opinion/pleasure of my Father…

But…

Words and actions… can also be edifying, encouraging, uplifting, empowering…

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We hosted three physicians this past weekend, Mike, Stu, and Steve, and they brought skills, technology, knowledge, and a combined 130+ years of experience in medicine (!) that benefited our patients. They also “dispensed”… much… encouragement…  Dear friends, Danny and April, joined them. One of the amazing things about this work is that we have the privilege of associating with people we greatly admire…

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They all, directly, soberly and sincerely spoke honest words of admiration re our long-standing work in Cavango.  Their experience and sincerity gave weight to their words in a way that undeniably sank deep…

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I received…

Wounds, still pretty raw, of these past years, were “debrided” and “dressed”… perhaps beginning a healing process that, until this weekend, seemed to be irreversibly scarring over…

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These men saw our work through respected, experienced, and unbiased eyes… and spoke… with intention and with needed repetition… over the course of three days. 

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Their words were a soothing ointment, removing long-standing pain and sensitivity that I thought were permanent…  As many of you know too well, we can become so accustomed to pain that “pain-free” is almost unrecognizable, but it’s sweetness is undeniable.

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This morning I awoke beyond grateful and I wanted you, who truly care for us and those we serve (beyond words), to know.  Thank you for asking our Father to touch me.  He has.  Thank you for standing with me through these years, for bearing the (many) words of a “wounded warrior”.

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We want to serve where others won’t go… When we say we will “give our lives” we are often unaware of the entire cost or all of the various “battles” that might accompany the same…

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We push on, expecting fire from the “enemy,” but often ignorant of the “fire” from those “on our side”.  Lesson learned… again…

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I know that many are able to relate and that is why I share this with you.

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Pain free and gratitude, even for a single morning, is pretty beautiful, and the courage to, again, enthusiastically enter the fray is evident in me…

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Words and actions…  My Father sent kindred “seeing” spirits and now-friends, Eduardo and Jocelyn DeSouza, and their beautiful kids, to partner with us and share the vision of serving these folks, leading them to “Bread”, no strings.   He has sent a wonderful NP missionary, Jordan, to help us part-time, and selflessly share the same vision.  MAF pilot Marijn and his wife Nortje and their kids (more kindred, “seeing” spirits) arrived three months ago with a small plane and they began building a house.  A beautiful Angolan physician, Vianne, has come to “intern” with us for a year to learn and to share the same vision.  We’ve hosted multiple teams of friends, new and old, these past months, who tirelessly serve these forgotten people. 

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Swing sets (video) were sacrificially purchased by friends, sent from the US, and arrived for our hospitalized kids.  Friends from the US sent portable, backup generators and they arrived this week.  Friends from the US purchased more oxygen concentrators and supplies, as we are often short. We will be short no more… 

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Other partners/supporters/senders/friends financed drilling a borehole, which was completed this week and we, and our patients, will soon have truly clean water for the first time ever (our drinking water has been from an above-ground spring).  A dear friend has arranged the transport, from across the world, at great cost, of 2000lb of protein supplement for our malnourished kids.  Another dear friend sends thousands of dollars annually so that those needing urgent, life-saving surgery can receive the same irrespective of ability to pay…

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So many of you pray. So many of you send encouraging notes. So many send your hard-earned dollars. Kingdom work… unseen… unable to “see” the fruit of your labor… without earthly gratitude……………….. and so many benefit.

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Let us continue together… to serve… all we can… whoever we can… whenever we can… wherever we can… however we can…

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I recently read the words of Victor Frankl, describing people in concentration camps during WWII caring for others and giving away to another their single piece of daily bread.  He opines that no person or circumstance can take away our ability to choose how to respond to any situation with evil or good.  Our attitude is… always… our choice…

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This might be the first time in history that the majority of mankind… chooses to believe… that their lives and circumstances are the cumulative result of unorchestrated chance occurrences and, therefore, without an all-encompassing and individual purpose….

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Our beliefs, our perspectives, our attitudes, every moment, are chosen… freely…  A freedom granted us, with such crazy love, humility and honor… by our Creator, our Father…

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